Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Guest Post - Say Hello to Christy from 'Mother of the Year!'

I would like to introduce the FIRST EVER guest blogger to appear on New English Mum in America! If you get a chance, you must visit her over at Mother of the Year

I love reading her blog and her hilarious take on motherhood! I hope you will too!

Here is a little bit about her:

'Hi! My name is Christy and I'm really funny. At least that's what my Gram tells me. She shows my blog to all her Bingo ladies. Besides being hilarious (obviously), I am the mother of two beautiful girls. They are actually the most beautiful girls in the world. I'm sure you thought your daughters were, but I'm sorry to say they were just runner-ups. Anyway, this blog is centered around me and the mistakes I make as a mother. Believe me when I say, I am never going to win Mother of the Year. Also sometimes referred to MOTY. Hope you enjoy as much as Grandma does!'

Thanks Christy for taking over the reins today!


My name is Christy. I am the mother of two beautiful girls and the host of this guest blog. I am constantly striving to win the title of Mother of the Year, but I just keeping falling short. Right off the bat, I lose points due to my vehicle. Everyone knows that all perfect mothers drive a mini-van. I refuse to drive a mini-van, practical or not. If it comes down to mini-van or no more kids, I’m going to ask to see what’s behind door #3. I definitely want to try for a son someday so maybe I’ll have to trade one of my daughters to ensure that everyone fits comfortably in my small car. Maybe I could just trade in my husband? Then again, I do need him to help make child #3 sooo I dunno.… I’ll work out the details later. I do know that I refuse to drive a mini-van, thus lowering my chances of winning Mother of the Year. Also, I did just mention something about trading in one of my kids. That probably wasn’t very Mother of the Year-ish either. Let’s not tell the Mother of the Year Committee about that.

Then there’s the matter of the PTA. I refuse to join. All Mother of the Years belong to the PTA. I stereotype PTA members. I have never actually met a PTA mom, but I’m assuming they are all Stepford Wife-ish. I can’t handle that nonsense. I’m more like the mom on Malcolm in the Middle. I watched that show long before I officially became a mom and I’m wondering if maybe she was a bad influence on me? She had a household of boys that obviously made her go nuts. I have only girls. I suppose I have no excuse. Then again, too much estrogen is never a good thing either.

So we have my refusal to drive a mini-van and my avoidance of the PTA. Besides that there are the small matters of forgetting my first daughter in the car when she was days old, dropping my second daughter, dumping an entire bottle on my first daughter, etc. You get the idea…

My chances of winning MOTY get slimmer and slimmer with each new day of my motherhood. One would think that I would get better at this mother business with time and experience. It appears that I am doing quite the opposite. I never really liked following the crowd anyway. Maybe this is the one time when that is a good idea. Either way, if you ever need to feel better about your parenting, I welcome you to come read my blog @ I guarantee that you will realize you are not the awful parent you think you are….but I definitely am. Only moms featured on People of Walmart look worse than I do.

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